‘Adulting’ Is Good for You

The Infantilization of Adulthood

One of the great ironies of an age that largely despises children is its normalization of infantilization. Birth rates plummet, yet adulthood is increasingly postponed. Responsibility is shirked, and perpetual adolescence is celebrated. In an infantilized world, the future is bleak, shallowness is rewarded, depth is reprimanded, dependency is cast in iron, relationships are diluted, vocation appears meaningless, tyranny is enabled, and social cohesion unravels. In such an age, few ever come of age.

Interrogate the ideological forces shaping the modern world, and infantilization emerges as their common denominator. Modern education systems weaken logical faculties, producing students who conflate emotion with argument. The welfare state discourages self-reliance, reducing men to supplicants for government handouts rather than providers and builders. Feminism, rather than celebrating the dignity of womanhood, fosters an ethos of grievance—eschewing feminine nurture and care in favor of the affluent tantrum and solitude. Modernity at large despises fatherly wisdom, severing itself from tradition and treating antiquity as an affliction to be cured rather than a repository of guidance.

An overlooked yet widespread symptom of infantilization is the modern caricature of masculinity—strength without virtue, pleasure without responsibility. A culture that rejects duty rebrands self-indulgence as freedom, mistaking license for maturity.

This is not new. J. M. Barrie’s Peter Pan captured the phenomenon over a century ago. Neverland is not, as some might assume, a realm of childhood innocence; it is a dungeon for disillusioned adults who refuse to grow up. Peter Pan understands the inevitability of growth, yet in a world where the tormented Captain Hook caricatures adulthood, he seizes upon an excuse to remain forever unmoored from maturity.

The Workplace and the Delayed Onset of Adulthood

Millennials and Gen Z have been accused of entitlement and a poor work ethic. They lag behind previous generations in economic milestones and career progression. Yet, before condemning them outright, one must ask: have they failed to rise to expectations, or were expectations lowered to the point of irrelevance? A generation that was told that effort guarantees success is now discovering that reality is less forgiving. Disillusioned by broken promises, many resign themselves to mediocrity, accepting that they are ill-equipped for anything more.

The popular term “adulting” betrays the predicament. Once an assumed phase of life, adulthood is now framed as an ordeal—an exhausting, unexpected burden rather than a natural transition. Bills, responsibilities, and obligations are lamented, as if participation in reality were an injustice. Some rise to the occasion; others retreat into perpetual adolescence, grumbling at the inescapability of consequences.

We now live in an era where marriage is deferred indefinitely, childbearing is treated as a lifestyle choice rather than a fundamental aspect of civilization, and genuine maturity is optional. It was not always so.

The Invention of Adolescence

Alex and Brett Harris, in Do Hard Things, trace the origins of modern adolescence to the late 19th century, when progressive labor laws and compulsory schooling reshaped society’s understanding of age and responsibility:

"Prior to the late 1800s, there were only three categories of age: childhood, adulthood, and old age. It was only with the coming of the early labor movement with its progressive child labor laws, coupled with new compulsory schooling laws, that a new category, called adolescence, was invented. Coined by G. Stanley Hall, who is often considered the father of American psychology, ‘adolescence’ identified the artificial zone between childhood and adulthood when young people ceased to be children but were no longer permitted by law to assume the normal responsibilities of adulthood, such as entering into a trade or finding gainful employment. Consequently, marriage and family had to be delayed as well, and so we invented ‘the teenager,’ an unfortunate creature who had all the yearnings and capabilities of an adult but none of the freedoms or responsibilities. Teenage life became a four-year sentence of continuing primary education and relative idleness known as ‘high school’ (four years of schooling which would later be repeated in the first two years of college)."

This historical shift has had profound consequences. By artificially extending childhood, society has lowered expectations for young people, delaying their transition into meaningful responsibility. The modern teenager, once an anomaly, has now become the norm—yet the question remains: at what cost?

The Church and the Cult of Perpetual Youth

Modern church culture has only deepened the problem by isolating the young from the old through institutionalized youth groups that extend well into young adulthood. This segregation subtly reinforces the notion that young people are unfit to engage in the ordinary life of the church. Voddie Baucham once observed that one of the great tragedies of the modern church is its tendency to treat young believers as the “future church” rather than the present one. As a result, many in youth programs fail to see themselves as active members of the body of Christ. Infantilization has infiltrated the church as well, and until this is acknowledged, true maturity will remain stunted.

Raising the Standard Again

The remedy is not complex: raise the standard. History provides ample precedent. Young men once fought wars, took wives, and fathered children in their teenage years. Young women managed households and bore responsibility with grace and competence. In Scripture, the epistles that outline church leadership qualifications are addressed to men who would have been considered relatively young in their context. God’s expectations for maturity have never been low; man’s have.

Adulthood is not an inconvenience—it is a privilege. It is the glad assumption of responsibility, the commitment to building something beyond oneself. It is civilization’s backbone, upheld by foundational relationships—marriage, childbearing, vocation, and community. The sooner man reclaims this understanding, the sooner he will rebuild what has been lost.

"When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child. When I became a man, I did away with childish things."
— 1 Corinthians 13:11

Higher Education and the Business of Infantilization

The modern university is often little more than an expensive incubator of arrested development. For many, it is a four-year evasion of responsibility, where self-indulgence is encouraged, and ideological conformity is mistaken for intellectual rigor. Institutions that prolong adolescence do not serve their students—they exploit them.

New Saint Andrews College offers an alternative. It dispenses with the crutches of dormitories, treating students as adults capable of managing their affairs. Rent, bills, and responsibilities are not obstacles but essential components of adult formation. Chapel services are not provided or practiced, ensuring that students integrate into real churches rather than retreat into insulated academic spirituality. This results in graduates who emerge not as credentialed children but as competent adults—individuals whose character is as developed as their intellect.

The Christian Liberal Arts at New Saint Andrews College serves to humanize its adherents, challenging students to rise above the diminished expectations of the modern age. This education is not merely about acquiring knowledge but about formation—shaping intellect, character, and soul in unison. Here, ethos (credibility) is cultivated through disciplined study and personal integrity; pathos (persuasive competence) is forged through rigorous debate, rhetorical mastery, and engagement with the Great Tradition; and logos (wisdom) is instilled through the pursuit of truth, aligning reason with a biblical worldview. These are not abstract concepts but the very tools by which students learn to live virtuously, taking dominion in every sphere of life. New Saint Andrews is not an ivory tower but a forge where cultural leaders are tempered by discipline, diligence, and responsibility. Leadership here is not a theoretical exercise but a practical reality—demanding ambition, eloquence, wisdom, aesthetical awareness, courage, and competence. In a world that infantilizes young adults, this institution calls them to embrace their high calling: to be the salt of the earth, the light of the world, and formidable ambassadors of the King of kings. Here, great men and women are not merely educated; they are formed, in order to be reformers in all the spaces they inhabit.